The Family Curse
By Christ Duda
Legend dictates that curses befell those who cross the evil dysfunctional American nuclear family (do they exist in this day and age?). Father with his new state of the art BBQ set and charming Donny Osmond whitened teeth; is actually more evil than a cartoon created ghost terrorist by the American government. Sharpening his cheap with imitation Henkel knives, drooling at the prospect of pulling off your limbs arm by arm and leg by leg. Grilled to perfection on the rotisserie and ready for the whole extended family. Don’t forget the steak rub!
Mother with her Martha Stewart insider grin and her well coiffed Play Doh barber set highlighted Victoria Beckham knock off hair do; sits quietly peeling carrots waiting patiently to shove the peel- o- matic deep within your spine while gleefully exclaiming “Isn’t this fun, fun, fun!” Billy and Martha sit quietly in their sandbox torturing small animals (serial murderers in the making) in between turns of “Condemned to Death” (a new video game for kiddies where you actually get to kill prisoners on Death Row!).
Much like the movie Blue Velvet things are not what they seem. Remember the scene with the perfect little house with the white picket fence and the well manicured lawn but beneath all the niceness lies a severed finger in the freshly cut green grass?
Family Curse is the soundtrack to this formula. American Dream turned American Scream! Much like a mutated Lydia Lunch or Diamanda Galas with a background Lost Sounds Muzak laugh track. Family Curse won’t be guesting on Hannah Montana anytime soon! Life ain’t pretty and either is the Family Curse but they are probably a hell of a lot more real than any pap smear top 40 being pumped by some underworld figures.